Super upcoming events!
September
24th- Leave for Melbourne
Right this second
CD:
Permission to Land The Darkness
Obsession:
Richey
Food:
Pizza thingy
Television:
Days of Our Lives
Movie:
Prisoner of Azkaban
Video/DVD:
Anne of Green Gables
Reading:
Various textbooks
Playlist
The Archive (old stuff)
Archive 1
Archive 2
Archive 3
Archive 4
Archive 5
Archive 6
Archive 7
Archive 8
Archive 9
Archive 10
Archive 11
Archive 12
Archive 13
Archive 14
Archive 15
Archive 16
Archive 17
Archive 18
Archive 19
Archive 20
Archive 21
Archive 22
Good Links
Television Without Pity
House of Brian
Neopets
Mm... Ewan...
Zelda, and her rarecandy
An outlet for my rambling
US Survival Tips for Aussies
The Evils of Scientology
email:woah_intense@hotmail.com
No, there will be no mailto: tags involved, because they piss me off.
What is this?...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
My heart longs for Samurai Pizza Cats :: Ah, Nostalgia
Mullets. Why?
My Song ¯
Hallelujah
Viva! Androgyny
***
My thoughts in a tangible format, accompanied by pictures that don't belong to me and come from all over the place. |
Thursday, September 23, 2004 06:13 p.m.
Currently listening to: Friday Night, The Darkness
It was probably obvious that this was coming. Four days after the three year anniversary of this place, the end has come. I'm just not keeping up with this the way it deserves after so long, and I'd rather kill it now, rather than have it die slowly. So yes, the world of original Woah, Intense... is now over. Oh, the sadness!
It's been a weird little jaunt, this thing. How old was I when I started this? Sixteen, that's right. Only just sixteen. And now I am a big person. This place will live forever, complete with obsessive ranting about, among other things, the Manics (Richey in particular), Placebo, Bright Eyes, Mest, Good Charlotte, Ewan McGregor and Velvet Goldmine. It's been good.
But this, this here... This is the end. The very End. For the last time. Goodbye, loves.
One last thing: online me now lives here.
Sunday, September 12, 2004 09:43 p.m.
Currently listening to: Cloud on my tongue, Tori Amos, [on repeat]
I have a weird couple of weeks. I have rediscovered having fun at the Basement. Sadly, that brings with it scary, evil need for decisions. People think they like me; male creatures think they like. I have so many thoughts about it, but my paper diary was left at the O'Sullivan's, so I can't write about it there. Instead I keep writing about it online instead, annoying people. It's sad, this thing that's happened. If I hadn't allowed myself to start liking someone in the first place, before I heard that they apparently like me, then everything would be fine. But alas... Am I a bad person because even, despite that, to me it really comes down to policies on smoking, and a tiny little scar that I find incredibly, I don't know, appealing? Is that bad? Because at the moment, they both seem so similar to me, that the advantage comes down to that. Well that and the throwing about of the "love" word by the other one. Bah, yuck. See the Life Becoming a Landslide quote I throw about so often.
It's dirty to me, really. Both sex hungry and scary. I miss what I had before. I had much less fear of being molested then. Come back, come back, what I had before. Sometimes I have dreams in which I am un-forgotten. I still let it upset me far too often. But I guess I am happier. I'm known! I'm so proud of me for being known. If people knew what a struggle talking enough to get me here was... I was finally getting there, and now BLAH-ness. You know who I like the most? Josh, who used to come into work all the time, and I saw on Wednesday morning on my way to the city. He was the nicest, the prettiest, the most educated (that doesn't matter, that doesn't matter) person. And I miss Chris, beautiful, talented Chris, who doesn't love me anymore. He turned eighteen this week. It would have been better if I never knew he liked me in the first place, never said I had the best of everything. Then I wouldn't have cared. I guess I don't anymore. I don't want to care about anything. I keep seeing that scar though, and I want the picture out of my head. The End.
Thursday, September 9, 2004 03:44 p.m.
Currently listening to: ifwhiteamerica, Manic Street Preachers
I have a fake boyfriend. Trés amusante. I also taught Emilie how to speak a bit of French. I don't really know why I am so sad today, I just know that I am.
Saturday, September 4, 2004 02:07 p.m.
Currently listening to: I'll Catch You, The Get Up Kids
I'm worried. Everyone in my family is watching their weight. Even Anna, the "As if I can be bothered" girl. If I end up the fattest one, I'll kill myself, I swear I will. Not that they'd care.
Friday, September 3, 2004 10:30 a.m.
Currently listening to: Friday's Child, Wendy Matthews
One of my last memories from when Mum and Dad were still together... I was fourteen. I had decided I didn't want to sleep in my room anymore, so I was lying on the futon couch waiting for sleep to come. Beloved by Wendy Matthews was on repeat, as it had been for a couple of hours. Mum and Dad came in and told me I was no longer allowed to go to sleep with "songs about dead people" on repeat. That's about the time everyone started to be afraid of me, I think.
Sunday, August 29, 2004 10:41 p.m.
Tonight it ends.
Saturday, August 28, 2004 01:28 a.m.
Currently listening to:
I fell for the promise of a life with a purpose,
But I know that's impossible now
As Conor says, "If I can't learn to make myself feel better, how can I expect anyone else to give a shit?" It's nice to see someone take that stance on the issue. It's true. I know it is.
I scream for the sunlight, or a car to take me anywhere
Just get me past this day of eternal snow
Because I swear that I'm dying, slowly, but it's happening
And if the perfect Spring is waiting somwhere
Just take me there, just take me there
And lie to me and say it's going to be alright.
Friday, August 27, 2004 01:25 a.m.
Currently listening to: Further Away, Manic Street Preachers
When I got home tonight there was a package for me, from England. It was the New Art Riot EP. I'd told Aunty Ali that I really wanted it, when she was here. I didn't think that meant I'd end up with it. I am very, very lucky.
Tomorrow I have a driving lesson. I haven't driven for about six months. More, probably. I will get my licence yet. The End.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004 04:35 p.m.
Currently hearing: "Futurama" in the background
I'm almost drunk! It's the first time in a month. I'm off to the Basement soon. I love Richey. I love him more than life, and he means so much to so many people; so if my dying meant he'd come back, I'd do it, I swear. The End.
Sunday, August 22, 2004 05:09 p.m.
"Today I went back to where me and Richey lived when we were at university and it was just fucking... devastating. I don't want to be pretentious about it but he invented a meal called 'white noise'. It was his meal: rice, jacket potato and corn on the cob." He laughs to himself. "We used to listen to records together. We wrote 'Motorcycle Emptiness' in that house... There was a review by some knob who said the band had benefited from Richey's disappearance, but they don't realise how my personal life has been completely and utterly fucked. They don't realise that every time someone rings and hangs up without speaking, I press 1471 hoping it's Richey."
Guhh... I feel ill.
Friday, August 20, 2004 08:12 p.m.
Currently listening to: a mix CD
OLYMPICS! I have had the best TV week imaginable. It's all gymnastics, all beach volleyball, all swimming, all diving, all the time. I love it. I'm tired, but I can live with that. The End.
Friday, August 13, 2004 11:16 p.m.
Four hours. Four hours until it starts. I am so incredibly excited. Obviously I'm staying up until 3:30am so that I can watch the Openning Ceremony live. In ten minutes they're repeating the Sydney Openning Ceremony. I predict I will be watching that...
Wednesday, August 11, 2004 11:57 p.m.
Currently listening to: The Flame, Tina Arena
The Olympics starts in two days. I am a-buzz with delight. More tomorrow.
Saturday, July 31, 2004 12:42 p.m.
Currently listening to: Name, Goo Goo Dolls
I've been putting it off, and putting it off, but... I'm annoyed. I'm sick of everyone complaining so damn much, about everything. It's like the whole world is bitching. The End.
Thursday, July 22, 2004 11:56 p.m.
Currently listening to: random Kate Bush
Today is my birthday, which automatically makes me better than almost everyone that could possibly be reading this.
Friday, July 16, 2004 11:47 a.m.
Currently listening to: "And Dream Of Sheep", Kate Bush
How neglectful have I been?! I haven't been on the computer much for the last month. I start uni on Monday again, sadly. I passed everything last semester though, so that's good. Ali and Sue return to England on Monday, so we're all going to Uncle Chris's for
dinner tomorrow night. For some reason he's a really good cook. He really did make the step up to a higher class from the one he was born into. The End... for now.
Saturday, July 3, 2004 03:38 p.m.
Currently listening to: Hounds of Love album, Kate Bush (brilliance)
Sarah died. My doggie. No more pup-py-pa-rade. My chest aches.
Sunday, June 20, 2004 12:59 a.m.
Currently listening to: Baker Baker, Tori Amos
I'm unravelling. Is it the time of year for it? Because I recall that it was just about this time last year that I kind of wanted to die. I don't know what my problem is. I was watching the episode of Rugrats where they go to Las Vegas earlier; I hadn't seen it for about four years, and when it got to the end, when Angelica sings the vacation song, I started crying. Loudly. And I don't know why. I have no excuse for being this way. I just feel... empty. I have no goals. There's nothing good coming. I don't know. Something in my head has snapped.
Saturday, June 19, 2004 02:12 p.m.
Currently listening to: Nothing Better, The Postal Service
I've been neglecting this place. I feel guilty about it, too. For the last week, everything has been all baout studying. It sux. But by the end of next Monday, I'll be finished. Thank God. Only nine more days. Then Aunty Ali is coming to visit from England, so we're staying in Beaudesert from next Tuesday night until, I think, Saturday. That'll be fun. I'll just have to avoid the chips; there's always a plethora. I've eaten enough food for ten people in the last two days. I'm sick of feeling all crappy. Oh well. The End.
Saturday, June 19, 2004 02:12 p.m.
Currently listening to: Nothing Better, The Postal Service
I've been neglecting this place. I feel guilty about it, too. For the last week, everything has been all baout studying. It sux. But by the end of next Monday, I'll be finished. Thank God. Only nine more days. Then Aunty Ali is coming to visit from England, so we're staying in Beaudesert from next Tuesday night until, I think, Saturday. That'll be fun. I'll just have to avoid the chips; there's always a plethora. I've eaten enough food for ten people in the last two days. I'm sick of feeling all crappy. Oh well. The End.
Thursday, June 17, 2004 11:43 p.m.
Connor, my Connor, you've come back to me. I love you.
Saturday, June 12, 2004 01:17 a.m.
Currently listening to: Thief, Our Lady Peace
I haven't listened to this song in ages! It's so lovely. I just ate a shit-load of food, after doing fabulously for ten days straight. Bugger. Oh well, tomorrow is another day... Another day for me to finally weigh under fifty-three kilograms. On Wednesday night I had gotten down to 53.6, having eaten that day, so I was close. I fucked up today, but one day's fuck up isn't everything, right? I'll make it.
I finished re-reading The Prisoner of Azkaban this morning, so now all I have to do before I see the movie is finish my Slytherin scarf. It's hot. I'm going to wear it every day after I finish it. Who knew that silver and green knitted together could look so good?! I love Malfoy. I'm currently reading my favourite Draco/Harry slash again; I saved it onto my computer back in 2002. It's a fanfiction.net original NC17. I saved it just before all worthiness of ff.net was destroyed. Mm... Teenage boys having sex... I'm going to hell, and I bet I'll have fun there ^_^
Dammit. I started eating again. Oh well. The End.
Wednesday, June 9, 2004 07:13 p.m.
Currently listening to: Name, the Goo Goo Dolls
My BMI is now below twenty. This makes me feel incredibly successful. I'm totally reaching my goal in time.
Monday, June 7, 2004 12:36 p.m.
Currently listening to: Homo Christmas, Pansy Division
Thought you'd come around when I ignored you,
Sort of thought you'd have the decency to change...
I love Avril. I'm having a much better day today. I'm going to walk down to the shops soon to buy grey and green wool. I'm going to knit myself a Slytherin scarf to wear to The Prisoner of Azkaban. I’ve got so much work to do! Study, knit, read, it’s too much! But of course I will do it, and knowing me, I’ll probably give the knitting priority. I love knitting.
As for me I'm coming to my final failure,
Killed myself with changes trying to make things better,
Ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be...
Conor, you perfect, fantastic bitch. Who’d have thought an American could be so damn cool?!
I’ve been wondering for ages… In the beginning of Hounds of Love by Kate Bush, when that old man is all “It’s in the trees! It’s coming!”, what exactly is in the trees, and coming? A hound? And did they record some old man saying that, especially for the song? Or did it come from somewhere else? I’ve been wondering all of these old man-related things for ages! I think that’s about enough for now, so… The End.
Sunday, June 6, 2004 11:54 p.m.
Currently listening to: Living Dead, Mest
I've had a shit of a weekend. I'm honestly quite happy that I'll have no time for socialising in the next eight weeks that follow. All I have is two weeks of study followed by two weeks of exams followed by four weeks of holidays on which I intend to sleep, work when I have to, and go shopping and things with my beloved family. No wasted money, time and calories on alcohol, no pretending that I enjoy talking to people. It'll be good.
I've started reading Harry Potter slash again, in preparation for the movie, which comes out on Thursday. I'll be going to bed soon, and I'm going to start reading The Prisoner of Azkaban again, too. I'm going to see Troy at the movies on Wednesday morning with Mum. I'm hoping the historical inaccuracies don't annoy me too much, and I can just enjoy the movie, but I'm worried that it'll be really annoying. I can't believe they completely removed the homoerotic content! At least I know they can't do that with Alexander. I cannot wait until that comes out. Alexander the Great is the best historical figure ever. He's Alex! He's great! Heh. And Angelina is in it, and even if I don't think she's as beautiful as most people say, she's still fucking cool.
I guess Mum was right, I do have a lot to look forward to. Not my birthday (I hate those), but holidays, and going to Melbourne in September (must... be... fifty... kilos), and the lead up to Christmas, and Christmas itself, and WOODFORD (whee!). I'm so looking forward to Melbourne. See, if I reach my goal weight by then, I'll be able to go this Ackland Street, which is apparently where all of these wonderful cake shops live, and I can eat and eat and eat, and not feel too bad about it. I love cake so much. I wanted to steal Beau's birthday cake on Friday. I can't wait until September, which I am now proclaiming to be the MONTH OF CAKE. The End.
Thursday, June 3, 2004 10:12 a.m.
I'm so extremely tired. I can't believe I still have to work tonight. How depressing. The End.
Tuesday, June 1, 2004 02:51 p.m.
I'm so God damn tired. I don't want to talk about it. I slept for twelve hours last night and it didn't do a damn thing. And now I have to work. Will the pain never end?!
Friday, May 28, 2004 02:34 p.m.
Currently listening to: Paper Bag, Fiona Apple
I had a normal person's day yesterday. It was weird. I got up at 6:20am and caught the train to uni for an 8am lecture. I actually found the lecture interesting, because it was all about the story of Anastasia, and whether or not she survived the massacre of her entire family in Russia. After that we had a tutorial for that subject, and we were broken up into small groups to discuss things, and I was contributing successfully and all that. And I made my group laugh several times, not because I said stupid things but because I was actually funny. Then I had an hour break (chicken sandwich for lunch), then another tutorial for a different subject, and I did well in that too. I made the whole room laugh once. And none of my humour was sarcastic. I didn't make anyone feel bad. That's a good thing, I think.
After uni I went to work, and didn't make any secret mistakes that will cause problems later like I sometimes do. The guy that comes in sometimes and talks to me about interesting things (like Woodford! Eee!) came to visit. Apparently he had ten minutes to kill, and decided to spend it talking to me. He didn't even buy anything! And when there was like five customers in a row and I had to serve them all, he just stood there and waited for me to finish so that we could continue talking. He ended up staying for nearly twenty minutes. It turns out that he's doing a Bachelor of Arts at QUT Carseldine as well! What are the odds? He's in his second year, which probably makes us the same age. I told him my name first, because I never have, and I think that means I'm getting braver. I now have his too. When he left he was all, "Well, I'm glad i have your name now!"
So... yeah! I think yesterday was good, even though I did eat enough food to feed about four people. But still, I can be happy. For now, at least.
Sunday, May 23, 2004 11:25 a.m.
Currently listening to: I Know It's Over, The Smiths
I love the Smiths. They're so delightfully depressing.
I will finish this fucking assignment today if it kills me. The way I've been going with it, it's possible that it will. The End.
Friday, May 21, 2004 12:05 p.m.
I feel sick. Bad, bad. I hate everyone, pretty much. I think I'm moving back to the Coast in two weeks. The End.
Sunday, May 16, 2004 12:56 p.m.
Currently listening to: I'll Catch You, The Get Up Kids
I'm currently half-way through watching Haggard for the first time in ages. I had to pause it so that I could take vitamins and things, but I'll soon return. I haven't even seen the best scene yet, I can't miss that! Man, I love this fucking movie! It's making me want to listen to HIM. Go Ville, go! Woot!
I'm tired, as always. But Anna and Kathryn come back from lands far and away (Nambour and the Gold Coast) today, so more enjoyment is imminent. It's been dull without them. Stupid people, having to be elsewhere!
I'm reading Mareep's most incredible, wonderful slash at the moment. Well, re-reading, since she doesn't update that often anymore. She's so incredibly brilliant. I miss when she used to update every night, right on 10:30. It sux that now she updates once a fortnight, if I'm lucky, but it's better than nothing. The End.
Saturday, May 15, 2004 04:15 p.m.
Currently listening to: Just Like Heaven, The Cure
I've remembered something. The last time I had a "significant other", I forgot Richey. Well, I didn't forget, but also definitely didn't pay enough attention. And when it was all over, I swore that I'd never let myself stray from him again. Because I love him. I'm taken; I'm not single. I won't waver in my dedication, I swear I will not. The End.
Saturday, May 15, 2004 01:10 p.m.
Currently listening to: Konstantine, Something Corporate
Last night I was upset. Now I'm just very, very angry. Guess who called last night! Yep, that guy! That I met on Wednesday, and really didn't want to see again! Because apparently he ran into two people that I thought were my friends (so idiotic, how could I think anyone in the world would be...) told him that I need a boyfriend. What. The. Fuck. I do not want one, let alone need one. I'm not one of those people like, "Oh, I'm so alone, why doesn't anyone want me?" Well, maybe I have been, accidentally, on occassion. But it's a lie. I hate people. I hate being obligated to see people. You want to be my very good friend? Fine! Good! I love you too! But the second I'm obligated to REMOVE CLOTHING... It's not going to happen! No, not ever. So I'll see this guy for exactly thirty seconds on Wednesday to give him back his jacket, and then I'll be like "Sorry, I don't do 'relationships'. Ever. See ya!" I think I need to be beaten up, right good, so I don't get myself into these messes in the first place.
Which leads me to my second point... I'm quitting alcohol. All jokes about my alcholism aren't funny. And no one can make those jokes if you don't drink. So I won't. And that's fucking it. The End.
Friday, May 14, 2004 03:05 p.m.
My jacket was Made in Bangladesh! You don't get that too often.
Friday, May 14, 2004 11:20 a.m.
Currently listening to: Tereza and Tomas, Bright Eyes
I'm home again. I love home. I'm in an acceptable state of mind. I don't know (I never know, fuck it). I like hugs. I like when people ask for hugs. When I'm told on Thursday by someone that saw me on Wednesday that they haven't seen me in over a month... Hell, maybe it was a joke. And maybe he means it, in theory. And maybe I should never drink again. Maybe I think that everything has more meaning behind it than it really does; it probably means nothing. Yet I want to never drink alcohol, ever ever again because of it. Well, not because of it, only partly. It's really more so I won't kiss strangers. That's how all of this atarted in the first place! I have to see this guy next week that I met on Wednesday now, and I don't want to. I'm not a slut... I don't even like people. It's just that, if you're willing to pay attention to me... Oh well, at least I know how to get rid of this guy. I'll wear my Dickies (pants, for the un-emofied and emo-knowledgable) and a T-Shirt or something. That'll get rid of him. I wish I'd been born a boy. Heh, I'm the opposite of Nicky Wire. I love Nicky Wire! I guess the real me means the sober me. No. The sober me is just the socially afraid drunk me. The real me is very, very afraid of people then.
My ankle hurts. Actually, a lot of me hurts. The End.
Sunday, May 9, 2004 07:14 p.m.
Currently listening to: Can't Make Me Hate You, Mandy Kane
I've had a good weekend. Friday was all sleep, yesterday was rainy and beautiful, and today we went to Montville, and it's all good. I got the results back on the two tests I did two-and-a-half weeks ago and thought I totally fucked up on, and I passed! And Dad gave me forty dollars tonight. I'm so buying a new CD this week. The End.
Saturday, May 8, 2004 08:53 p.m.
Currently listening to: Me V. Maradona Vs. Elvis, Brand New
The weather today was beautiful; rain and cloud and cold. I'm happy ^_^
Friday, May 7, 2004 12:40 p.m.
Currently listening to: I Melt With You, Mest [cover]
I archived again, for the twenty-second time. The banner up the top of the page is a work-in-progress. I don't really like it, but don't know what to do about it. I'm still thinking.
I love Mest so very much. I've been in a Mest-listening place since Wednesday morning, when I drunkenly danced to their Wasting Time album while preparing to go out. They make me happy. No bad connotations at all, just unbridled bliss, to make me dance. I'm always going on about dancing, aren't I? You'd think I was a dancer, or something. Unfortunately no, I'm not. I just enjoy it like nothing else.
There's too much time
I'm in a fucked state of mind
Ahh, Mest. The End.
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